2. Being pregnant and giving birth and becoming a mother are a whole crazy world of emotion that nobody will understand until it happens to them and even then they will forget what it was really like (that’s why people have more kids!). There is nothing wrong with feeling confused, overwhelmed, anxious, absolutely bloody knackered and generally not the ecstatic joy you thought you might feel.
3. You don’t have to pretend everything is ok. Speak to your mum, or your friend or your neighbour or your sister or the lady you met at baby group and they will tell you that they felt the same too. It’s totally normal that when living on two hours sleep a night, never having time to even get dressed, having had your whole world turned upside down overnight you probably feel at least a little strange. Speak to someone it will make you feel better I promise.
4. Breastfeeding is not easy it’s really hard, you’d think the baby would know how to do it but they don’t and nor do you and how would you? It’s not like this is something you can practise! This is a skill you need to learn together and the best thing I ever did was to go to a breast feeding support group. If breast feeding isn’t working out it’s natural to feel really crap about it, please don’t! Your baby wants to be fed, it really doesn’t care how. Just feed your baby the best way for you and trust me that your baby will thrive.
5. Babies cry, and they don’t sleep this is a fact. It just makes sense for us to admit this fact and accept it, let it go. If your baby is up all night it’s got nothing to do with your parenting skills. Babies need love and milk and that is all. Yes you might be exhausted from night feeds, yes you might be hallucinating from tiredness because your baby never naps. You are not a crap mum, you are amazing and you are that little babies whole world! Do your best but don’t be afraid to say ‘this is really hard and I need some help’.
6. It’s ok to daydream about running away on a yacht with Alexander Skarsgård, it’s ok to mourn the carefree life you have left behind – it doesn’t mean you love your baby any less it just means you are a real person who had a career and a social life and you are finding your new mum life hard. You will get back to being you I promise, but don’t rush yourself.
7. Finally – you don’t need to snap back into shape, you are not an elastic band! You are the most amazing human who has created and grown a life. Your body is miraculous and should be given the respect it deserves, it has given you the most precious gift possible. Learn to love your new body. Don’t follow ridiculous airbrushed celebrities on Instagram who post pictures of themselves flat stomached two days after giving birth. Find yourself fellow mums who support and inspire you and make you realise that everything you feel is totally normal.
Inspiring mums who are keeping it real to follow on Instagram –